“Keep the blokes away! Don’t bother going to work!” her ex-husband dictated his terms.
“You seldom hear a good word about an ex, but I won’t complain,” begins the tale of 40-year-old Helen from Yorkshire. “Of course, it was tough when he left for a younger woman, leaving me with a newborn. At that moment, it felt like my world had collapsed. I struggled to eat or sleep, staring at my son and wondering why this was happening to us. But we made it through. To his credit, he hasn’t turned his back on our boy. He’s been supportive and involved, providing for us. Not everyone does that.”
Helen’s son, Oliver, is now ten—clever, a pride of the school, part of the football club, and even has a tutor for his English lessons. For all these years, Helen hasn’t held a job. She had considered it at times, but her ex made it clear: “No need for that. Stay at home, focus on Oliver. I’ll make sure you have what you need.” And he kept his promise.
“To be honest, I was relieved. I love being at home, keeping everything under control, enjoying comfort and order. I’m not stuck in morning traffic or listening to a boss. And at least Oliver is supervised. My ex covers everything—even child support wasn’t necessary. We share things fairly: groceries, clothing, clubs, and trips to the coast twice a year—all on him,” Helen shares.
They live in his flat. Officially, it’s his. Yet, Helen isn’t idle; she saves little by little, building a stash. She says if anything goes wrong, she could manage a year’s living comfortably. Although, after ten years, the savings aren’t vast—but it’s something.
“He asked only one thing: that I don’t bring men home. He said to find my personal life outside the house, just not in front of our son. And I’m in full agreement. I don’t intend to introduce some strange man to my child and say, ‘Here’s your stepdad.’ Right now, I can’t even think about dating. I enjoy the peace. It suits me.”
And she’s not exactly fending off suitors. Yes, she’s well-kept and attractive, but who wants a forty-year-old woman with a child? Everyone flinches at the thought of responsibility. She doesn’t want anyone either. She’s gotten used to her freedom, her independence—and she likes it that way.
But her younger sister, Mary, has a different take:
“You need to think about building a career! Why are you so dependent on your ex? Today he pays, tomorrow he could stop. Once Oliver grows up, what then? Will you live without money, without a home, without direction? Can’t you see this could all end abruptly?”
“And who else should I rely on?” Helen replies calmly. “If I find a job, will that guarantee anything? They can let you go at any time. One day you’re an asset, and the next, you’re surplus.”
“Believe in yourself, Helen. Be able to earn a living, then nobody can dictate if you can stay in this flat, if you can have a social life, or if you can buy your son a pair of trainers for three hundred quid. I just can’t understand how you can be so reliant on someone who has already let you down.”
“If it comes to that, then I’ll look for work. But right now, why bother? You could work for twenty years without a break and still end up with nothing. So don’t lecture me. I’ve made my choice.”
“And I’m telling you, one day you’ll wake up, and your ex will stop paying. He’ll say, ‘Oliver’s grown up; you’re on your own.’ Then what? You’ll be an aging woman without experience, without a profession, with no chance of making a change.”
“Mary, I’m far from being old. There are always plenty of jobs in the city. I won’t go hungry. I’m not one to cry over spilled milk.”
Deep down, Helen suspects her sister is simply envious. Mary has two children, a mortgage, endless shifts, and a perpetual shortage of cash. She hasn’t seen the sea in ten years. Meanwhile, Helen enjoys her life, carefree, taking holidays with her son and giving him everything he needs. Is that so bad?
Yet increasingly, worry creeps into Helen’s mind. What if Mary is right? What if everything could fall apart in an instant? Could she stand on her own feet then? Could she find work? Could she get back on track?
Today, she believes she could. But what tomorrow holds is a question only time can answer.